Journal of INFINITE DARKNESS!!

I LOVE finals month!!

2009-12-06T02:17:21Z

How I procrastinate for finals (and essays due with finals):

- Baking: Maybe a cake would be nice. Chocolate, of course. And brownies!! With JAM!! Look at all these recipes I need to try!! Better eat that broccoli before it goes bad!! And there's always that new breadstick recipe I've been meaning to try out. And couldn't I make vegetarian lasagna?

- Cleaning: It's filthy in here!! I must wipe down all the counters and do the dishes and clean out the fridge and prune and water all my plants!! And dusting and vacuuming!! Shameful that I've put this off so long!! And look at the cat litter and bathroom!! Better get on that!!

- The Internet: Wow!! Look at all these fascinating webcomics I haven't been keeping up with!! Some of these I haven't even read before? Imagine that!! Bad Jen, better get busy reading these or you'll get behind. Oooh!! Tetris!!

- Making Christmas Decorations: Boy, could the apartment use some more decorations. I know!! I'll cut snowflakes out of coloured construction paper!! Neato. These'll be the best snowflakes ever. Oooh!! I should hang up candy-canes.

Studying? Pfft. How can I even THINK about studying when I'm this busy?

couldbesunshine @ 2009-11-30T21:51:00

2009-12-01T03:51:03Z

So I did something stupid again. You know that thing that I always do?

Writing down the wrong due date/not realizing a due date has changed and COMPLETELY PANICKING AND GOING INSANE?

Yeah, I did that again. So my essay will certainly not be late!! In fact, I'm ahead of schedule. I would laugh if I wasn't sobbing so hard.

I also got an really good mark on the midterm, which I thought I'd kind of bombed. 89%. So that's one less panic for me. Now I only have to worry about my other two assignments due this week and midterm exam. Strike one essay, two reading quizzes off the list. I'm really glad I decided to study for the quizzes rather than write my paper. Whew!! You must all wonder how I live my life in such a constant state of disorganization.

In other news, I got the swine flu vaccine this weekend (in PA, for Danny's birthday) and my arm won't stop hurting. I haven't gotten very much sleep the past two days. I can't turn over or really move, or sleep in any position that's not on my side without experiencing a great degree of pain. It was hard to stay awake today, considering that I woke up at 4AM after a fitful sleep and couldn't get back to bed. Ow!! It's not really a side effect from the vaccine, it's just painful and long-lasting. Sure wish I took the nurse's recommendation to keep myself doped up on aspirin.

Anyways, I am eating hummus and pitas. Hummus is god. Mmm. It should be classified as an addictive substance.

Finals are approaching, many, many essays and papers due. Unpleasant. Ugh.

I am going to bed, and I hope I can actually get some sleep this time. May arm doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it did before, so yay!!

Will update again later, when I actually have something to say.

YES!! THERE IS A GOD!!

2009-11-21T00:04:15Z

Thank you, God for ending our suffering!! If anything is proof of a loving god, this is it!!

Truly, God, you were answering more prayers than just Oprah's!!

Hallelujah, Praise the Almighty Lord!! Blessed Be!!

You know what?

2009-11-17T22:31:41Z

Being a misanthrope is actually a damn lot of work.

A whole damn lot.

RICHARD AOKI documentary trailer

2009-11-10T20:31:37Z

This looks like a really interesting documentary. Scott, have you heard anything about this? You are the film expert, after all.

If I die in a fire, don't be surprised.

2009-11-10T04:20:34Z

Our crazy stupid fire alarm keeps going off in the middle of the night. There is never a fire, or anything actually exciting like that.

Last night, it went off a total of six times, at half hour intervals. This all occurred well after 1AM. Every half hour, the fire alarm would go off, and Scott called the listed number for assistance. And you know what the woman on the phone said to him? She said, 'You should be outside if the alarm goes off. You shouldn't go around and check for a fire first."

Yes, well, that's what we're trying to work towards!! How can we be expected to take the fire alarm seriously if it's going off at all hours for no apparent reason? We can't, that's how. And likely no one else in the building is calling about this, as many (actually very many) have limited English abilities. Oh well. At least they came this morning to check it out, but really the alarm is just crap.

Also, Scott worked in the morning and I also needed to get up early to get work done.

Okay, that over:

I recommend everyone check out this. It is very super Canadian and exciting, A collage!! Also, check out the comics with the Bronte sisters. Because those are my favourite Hark! A Vagrant comics.

Reading Icelandic mythology is really cracktastic. I mean, you have people who live in piles of bones, and it's normal to hack peoples legs off with an axe, and revenants go around cursing people because you need to kill them and stick their heads up their butts. And this is all normal.

My prof is also excellent. To paraphrase:

"It's an old Icelandic saying that one should 'never have a slave for a best friend.' And I think this still holds up today. Now, you may say to me, "but Professor Harris, we don't have slaves," but nonetheless."

Also, he told me I probably have swine flu and will infect the whole class.

Yeah, I'm pretty sick right now. But not swine flu. Sorry, guys.

Stupid, stupid, stupid

2009-10-29T18:31:46Z

Just how stupid am I? Here I am, feeling sorry for myself, and I didn't even think to check the due date somewhere other than my daytimer. Turns out I wrote down the wrong due date!! My essay is, in fact, done right on time and I will lose no marks, whatsoever. Dear god, what is wrong with me?

Edit: Also, I put cayenne pepper in my eyes yesterday while making vegan chili. And in my nose. It was very, very painful, and I do not recommend the experience. Do NOT put cayenne pepper in your eyes, no matter how tempting it may seem. Stupid.

And I took the wrong bus to get home today. Stupid.

Vomit

2009-10-29T08:31:05Z

Oh, and I will officially apologize to Robbie for making him take the bus down to my apartment in order to watch me throw up. I'm sure that was very unpleasant for you. I hope whatever appointment you had went better for you than mine did for me.

Very sorry. I kind of feel awful over everything.

Wisdom teeth = fine, fillings = hell? WTF?

2009-10-29T08:15:22Z

On Monday I had a dental appointment in order to get two fillings. After the appointment, I threw up and collapsed asleep, thereby missing my class. Then I woke up, ate fruit cocktail, and threw that up while Scott went out to buy me food. And then I ate some more, and went back to sleep.

This might not be a problem if I didn't have two essays due on Tuesday and a reading quiz on Monday. One of which I was supposed to spend all Monday completing, on account of it not being done yet.

So my essays aren't handed in yet (yes, still) and I still feel like crap, although not as bad as before.

How crap is that? And I was doing so well!!

Why on earth would fillings make me this sick? Why the nausea?

Oh well. I'll have to take a late mark and make up the reading quiz.

Sleep need to sleep oh god I am tired

2009-10-15T02:59:39Z

Why am I so tired all the time? For the past week, I've been getting more or less a full night's sleep, and then I just fall asleep anyways, taking a nap midday. It's starting to get really annoying, seeing how I have many, many essays and tests coming up this month. I can't sleep all the time and study/write essays/do readings.

There are several reasons for this, in my opinion/research.

A) I could be iron deficient. It has happened in the past, so there is some medical history. Solution: take iron pills/multivitamin and eat more iron-rich foods. Wait to see if it improves.

B) It is getting dark earlier (i.e. 6PM) due to changing seasons. This is all a part of alleged seasonal depression. Solution: Get out more during daylight hours. Maybe try to walk to class/back if it isn't too cold? Or, alternatively, give myself time to adjust to the changing seasons.

C) Not enough exercise / inactivity makes one tired. Solution: Get out more as in solution B. Maybe try to exercise in the evening before bed, as this is supposed to help with sleep problems.

D) It could be stress. This is not an acceptable explanation to me, because I am planning to add more stress to my life rather than reduce it. Also, there is very little I can do about my existing stress, as it is mainly school-related. I feel I am doing all I can - even finishing work ahead of time instead of my usual last-minute frenzy. Solution: Do nothing. Alternatively, exercise and a better diet can help reduce stress. So eat more iron and do exercises.

Or I could see a doctor. But man, this is annoying.

couldbesunshine @ 2009-10-12T22:31:00

2009-10-13T05:28:29Z

I am bad at updating my livejournal. This occurs for a number of reasons. A) I'm not very interesting B) I am too tired/lazy to type up the interesting things and C) whenever I do manage to type up a kickass entry, this stupid site goes and stupid deletes everything. It kind of sucks.But here goes!!

Things that have happened in my life:

1) I recently had my wisdom teeth removed on the left side of my mouth. I was very, very nervous, on account of people telling me countless horror stories of intense pain. Surprisingly, though, the actual procedure barely hurt at all. The needles were a bit painful when injecting the anesthetic, but it was a temporary pain. After that, the entire removals took about thirty seconds. Apparently I am lucky, because my teeth (all my teeth) came in straight. It was an easy removal - they didn't even have to cut my bottom tooth in half with a drill like they were supposed to. The dentist and dental assistant were both very nice and straightforward. After the operation, I was given a perscription for painkillers, but used Advil instead. People keep telling me how good I look for someone who had just had wisdom teeth removed. It really wasn't that bad

2) Insane month for school. I've had to get all my essays done ahead of time even though they are due at the end of the month, because if I don't I won't have time to study for my three midterms immediately prior to the essay due dates. Oh, and because my classes are concentrated into two days a week (plus one Monday class) all my midterms/essays are scheduled for the same days. Arg!! Also, my profs are not so big on handing out essay assignments more than three weeks before they are due. Very annoying for someone who needs to get them done ahead of time. Not a lot of leeway.

3) Scott scared the Mormons away. I think. We have, as you all likely know, been cooresponding with Mormon Elders from our area. Every once in a while we'll get a phone call and I would debate with them for an hour or so about why prayer doesn't seem to work, proof of God's existance, etc. Well, this time I let Scott on the phone with the Mormons, and they had an hour long conversation in which the Mormon apparently got very, very angry. Oops. We were making a vegan apple pie at the time, and watching the Office. The pie didn't turn out as well as either of us would have liked. My opinion? Peel the apples next time, possibly aim for larger slices, and somehow let them drain their juices better. Also, I think it was a tad undercooked. Delicious, but the recipe will be altered!! Probably the Mormons won't call again. Oh, well.

4) My new bird-watching scheme is somewhat thrawted by the coming of winter. It snowed quite heavily these weekend - highways were rough at best. Even though we put on the winter tires, Robbie and I ended up going 40 km from P.A. to Duck Lake, and afterwards from 60-80 km. It was beautiful out, but dangerous. First snows are always like that, and it's made that much worse by Thanksgiving weekend. Regarding the birds, this weekend I spotted Canadian geese, magpies, junkos, chickadees, and a downy wookpecker. Probably there are more that I am forgetting. I will try to identify winter birds from now on, but really everything is leaving around this time. I was suprised to see a woodpecker at all.

5) Joeleene's wedding was on Saturday. It was snowing, so that we were not able to stay at the cabin in Waskesiu, and instead drove to and from Elk Ridge. There were many elk and deer around the area, and very few golfers. Joeleene's wedding was held in a small-town church that was purchased and transported down the highway to Elk Ridge. I suppose it is intended to be multi-purpose, but it was clearly very Catholic in origin, as was the ceremony. It's strange - I don't recall Joeleene as being particularly religious, but there you go. It was a lovely ceremony. The Church was cold, so everyone was in their winter jackets. I wore a dress, for what is about the first time since elementary school. This is very exciting to me. Likely none of you care. We closed down the cabin after the ceremony, and then hiked the Height of Land in our dress clothes. Luckily I had brought a pair of hiking boots along with me. After returning to Elk Ridge, we attended the reception. It was incredibly enjoyable. The flowers at each table were arranged in vases filled with large, freash cranberries. Yum!! I was able to take one home, and want to find recipes I can use them in. Joeleene has two 6-week old newborn babies. They also attended the wedding and reception, both of which were very kid-friendly. When/if I get married, I want to have tiny children running all over the place dancing, playing tag, and doing backflips. It was very fun. Joeleene's twins, Abigail and Edward, were very sweet. I got to hold Abigail for nearly an hour. She fell asleep.

6) Thanksgiving weekend. I ate a lot of food. So did everyone. Obviously, I was in P.A. with family. Scott was also there, but we were unable to meet up due to A) inconvenient timing (he or I would call the other too late or early to meet) and B) my own stupidity (sleeping in late). I am sad about this, because I wanted to spend some time with his very adorable niece. And with Scott, of course. When you spend most of your time with a person everyday, one weekend apart can seem like a lot.

7) My uncle Peter, a veterinarian (naturally) took a look at Blue and has pronounced him fully healthy and not at all underweight. So screw you, everyone who thinks he's too skinny. My uncle also says he is not loyal to me at all. This is mostly true. Blue thinks everyone is his very best friend.

That is more or less what is going on in my life right now. I may need to get a job. I have not been keeping up with my reading as much as I would like. I'm probably convocating in the fall (gives me plenty of time for screw-ups and reparations this way). I have no plans after this, as usual. I could get a degree in Library Science and Records, but I'd have to go out of province for that... I may get a Biology / Environmental Science degree, because then I could stay here. I may in fact not do either of these things, and simply work full time. I have no idea what kind of job to aim for with my Sociology degree, though. I really truely have no clue and never have. And likely nevery will. People like me want to go off in all directions. If I could, I'd study everything. But I cannot.

My life may not be very interesting. But that isn't stopping me from writing about it.

Cixous

2009-09-25T04:15:35Z

Cixous's 'The Laugh of the Medusa' is bullshit. I shouldn't have to write an essay about psychoanalysis. It has no basis in reality, and is crazy.

So I get this essay topic comparing Virginia Woolf's 'A Room of One's Own' and Cixous's 'The Laugh of the Medusa' regarding women's writing. The problem here is that Woolf is speaking about writing techniques with an aim at quality - not only for women, but also for men. Cixous, on the other hand, is talking about... masculine writing's phallocentrism, and how women need to overcome this using the unique qualities of the female erotic experience, which Freud has apparently neglected. Woolf offers evidence of the poor depiction of women in written works, and Cixous offers... Well, psychoanalysis. Based on Freud. Which has no textual evidence or credibility, and makes no sense.

I don't have the foggiest idea why this even counts as a method of female writing, when all the information that's conveyed is 'write using your body'.

...

School, huh?

I have a number of other problems with this class - mostly the fact that the professor makes shit up all the freaking time. She attempted to compare the literary/philosophical concept that 'truth is relative' to Einstein's Theory of Relativity. No, I'm not joking. She said they were basically the same thing, only one included SCIENCE!!!!!

She also claimed that there are no female Greco-Roman gods/mythological figures depicted as 'wise' or 'strong' or 'as warriors'. Which is not true. Athena, Minerva, Artemis, Atalanta, anyone?

In addition to getting Greco-Roman mythology wrong, she also got Biblical mythology wrong... I cannot even go into this. A professor shouldn't get this much stuff wrong that is so easy to fact-check. I mean, Wikipedia could provide this information. It wouldn't even require any effort. Perhaps I am too picky. But perhaps not.

Class

2009-09-08T20:59:25Z

So, I walked into the wrong class today. I went into Arts 134 instead of Arts 133. They are next door to each other, and Arts 134 is where my Stats lab is located immediately after my Stats class in Arts 133. I though I was going in 133 and kind of just got pushed along with the crowd. The worst thing was that my prof apparently teaches in that room right before my class, so I thought it was right up until the last minute. And then I noticed how odd it was to have so many male students in a Stats class for social sciences...

It was a computer science class, so I decided to stay and get some work done. But then the prof started handing out quizzes, and the people behind me wouldn't stop talking and had on incredibly strong cologne. So I left.

Oh well.

Back to school on the third

2009-09-01T20:08:20Z

I haven't been posting much lately. Usually that means that I'm either really busy, or really depressed. It's no secret to many who know me that this past year has been an unusually specific sort of hell for me (I would say April 08 - April 09 qualifies), so that explains not posting much then. This summer has been a mix of both busy and depression, so that should explain things adequately enough.

Still, I did get done a few of the things I've meant to do this year. I've tried out a variety of new foods and recipes - in particular new vegan dishes and baking. I feel a lot more confident about cooking and baking whatever I may choose. I've been reading a lot more. I don't think I'm quite averaging ten books a month, but I'm pretty close. I've been trying to get out more to see movies, concerts, etc - something I'm not inclined to do, but that Scott enjoys. I've seen a LOT more movies in the past eight months than I've seen in the prior four years. I've also spontaneously bought concert tickets / went to see Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan. So I need to keep that up. If I'm going to live in a big city, I may as well take advantage of this sort of thing, right?

Which is why I'm going to buy tickets in advance for a number of Persephone shows. As soon as I get my class schedules, I mean.

Also, is anybody else going to see the Hold Steady when they're in town?

I've also done a good amount of hiking and kayaking this summer, something been meaning to do. What I haven't done is go down to Grasslands or Cypress Hills National Parks. I also haven't gone on a canoe/camping trip. These are things I sorely miss, and desperately need to do. There's nothing like watching the northern lights in the middle of nowhere, or counting the constellations in the darkest nights. Summer classes get in the way of so much opportunity!! Hopefully I can do at least one of these things before the end of the season. I am going up to the lake (Waskesiu) next weekend, and maybe I can sneak a canoe trip in there.

And damn, do I want to do Otter Rapids or what?

I can dream.

Happy Mormon Birthday!!

2009-08-22T21:16:59Z

Today I celebrated my birthday by engaging in an hour long debate with two Mormon Elders. I now own a Book of Mormon and have promised to read it and find out if I can see god's influence in my life.

How did you celebrate your birthday?

couldbesunshine @ 2009-07-26T00:30:00

2009-07-26T06:41:50Z

Living with Scott, one comes to watch a substantial variety of t.v. shows. And because of that, I need to say this:

The Wire has ruined me for all other shows. And I've only seen one season of it thus far.

We've also been watching Damages, which I know is a good show. I can tell. But compared to the Wire, it is artificial and does nothing so much as spell things out for the viewer.

Also True Blood sucks major ass. It almost had me for a few episodes. And then I just hoped that I was wrong, and perhaps the writing was just inconsistent. But no, it's has the most boring characters, boring plot points, and only cares about shoving as much sex in one's face as is possible. What's worse, it's boring sex, engaged in by boring people, for boring reasons.

Also, Sookie Stackhouse is the biggest Mary Sue I've ever managed to encountered. Even Scott noticed. And he only knows what a Mary Sue it from my vague descriptions.

The point is, really, that there is no point in watching anything after seeing the Wire. Not one single point.

couldbesunshine @ 2009-07-09T18:47:00

2009-07-10T01:05:54Z

I suppose it should be no secret that since I've spontaneously decided to take spring/summer classes, my summer plans have gone to shit. I had been planning on doing a lot of summer reading, but look at my bookshelves. Full of unread masterpieces (or not). I have to say, I'm starting to burn out pretty bad. It's been a lot of work, and damn it, I want a break. I sort of considering taking August off (of everything - school, work, life) and just not doing anything.

That might not be realistic, but... I can dream, can't I?

So I'm probably graduating in the next year or so, which would be nice. It'll be the whole Sociology major deal, probably with an English minor. I'm kind of worrying about that, because English majors are often total flakes. Sometimes this is hard to deal with.

I'm tentatively planning on getting another degree, tentatively in Biology, possibly in Environmental Science, or Studies, whatever it's called at the University of Saskatchewan.

But you know what? I'm kind of crap at planning out my life, so this may not work out at all. Maybe I will get a library sciences degree. Maybe I'll drop out and become a plumber.

Also, it's really stupidly cloudy out lately, and on account of this, I can't get a proper tan. Mostly I just have a farmer's tan. It looks very funny, especially if I ever take off my sandals, because I have a stripe across my feet.

At least there is tons of fresh fruit and vegetables, and corn and watermelon, and yum.

Summer, eh?

Too busy to update, the story of mine and everyone else's summer

2009-06-28T03:44:59Z

This month has indeed been the month of tests, and therefore I have not been posting. I've actually found that the only way I can get any work done is if I ban myself from my computer. Which would be why I'm currently typing this up on one of the university computers, having just printed out all my notes.

On the subject of tests, I had two deferrals and a midterm, all sequentially one after the other on the 15th, 16th, and 17th, and then a number of small lab exams. Then last week I had my lab final. And on Monday I have my actual final. It's been a lot of work.

I've also not been doing that much reading lately. I've only gotten through maybe seven books this month, and I have about a dozen lined up to go. So much for getting summer reading done.

I'm also very, very sunburned, in a comically manner. You will laugh at me.

My life is too busy, but unless I spontaneously decide to take another summer class, that will all be over soon.

I've also seen Up! twice. Go see it. It is awesome.

Okay, yeah. The computer's name is Clotilde.

2009-06-15T18:51:34Z

Saki - Shock Tactics

On a late spring afternoon Ella McCarthy sat on a green-painted chair in Kensington Gardens, staring listlessly at an uninteresting stretch of park landscape, that blossomed suddenly into tropical radiance as an expected figure appeared in the middle distance.

"Hullo, Bertie!" she exclaimed sedately, when the figure arrived at the painted chair that was the nearest neighbour to her own, and dropped into it eagerly, yet with a certain due regard for the set of its trousers; "hasn't it been a perfect spring afternoon?"

The statement was a distinct untruth as far as Ella's own feelings were concerned; until the arrival of Bertie the afternoon had been anything but perfect.

Bertie made a suitable reply, in which a questioning note seemed to hover.

"Thank you ever so much for those lovely handkerchiefs," said Ella, answering the unspoken question; "they were just what I've been wanting. There's only one thing spoilt my pleasure in your gift," she added, with a pout.

"What was that?" asked Bertie anxiously, fearful that perhaps he had chosen a size of handkerchief that was not within the correct feminine limit.

"I should have liked to have written and thanked you for them as soon as I got them," said Ella, and Bertie's sky clouded at once.

"You know what mother is," he protested; "she opens all my letters, and if she found I'd been giving presents to any one there'd have been something to talk about for the next fortnight."

"Surely, at the age of twenty--" began Ella.

"I'm not twenty till September," interrupted Bertie.

"At the age of nineteen years and eight months," persisted Ella, "you might be allowed to keep your correspondence private to yourself."

"I ought to be, but things aren't always what they ought to be. Mother opens every letter that comes into the house, whoever it's for. My sisters and I have made rows about it time and again, but she goes on doing it."

"I'd find some way to stop her if I were in your place," said Ella valiantly, and Bertie felt that the glamour of his anxiously deliberated present had faded away in the disagreeable restriction that hedged round its acknowledgment.

"Is anything the matter?" asked Bertie's friend Clovis when they met that evening at the swimming-bath.

"Why do you ask?" said Bertie.

"When you wear a look of tragic gloom in a swimming-bath," said Clovis, "it's especially noticeable from the fact that you're wearing very little else. Didn't she like the handkerchiefs?"

Bertie explained the situation.

"It is rather galling, you know," he added, "when a girl has a lot of things she wants to write to you and can't send a letter except by some roundabout, underhand way."

"One never realises one's blessings while one enjoys them," said Clovis; "now I have to spend a considerable amount of ingenuity inventing excuses for not having written to people."

"It's not a joking matter," said Bertie resentfully: "you wouldn't find it funny if your mother opened all your letters."

"The funny thing to me is that you should let her do it."

"I can't stop it. I've argued about it--"

"You haven't used the right kind of argument, I expect. Now, if every time one of your letters was opened you lay on your back on the dining-table during dinner and had a fit, or roused the entire family in the middle of the night to hear you recite one of Blake's 'Poems of Innocence,' you would get a far more respectful hearing for future protests. People yield more consideration to a mutilated mealtime or a broken night's rest, than ever they would to a broken heart."

"Oh, dry up," said Bertie crossly, inconsistently splashing Clovis from head to foot as he plunged into the water.

It was a day or two after the conversation in the swimming-bath that a letter addressed to Bertie Heasant slid into the letter-box at his home, and thence into the hands of his mother. Mrs. Heasant was one of those empty-minded individuals to whom other people's affairs are perpetually interesting. The more private they are intended to be the more acute is the interest they arouse. She would have opened this particular letter in any case; the fact that it was marked "private," and diffused a delicate but penetrating aroma merely caused her to open it with headlong haste rather than matter-of- course deliberation. The harvest of sensation that rewarded her was beyond all expectations.

"Bertie, carissimo," it began, "I wonder if you will have the nerve to do it: it will take some nerve, too. Don't forget the jewels. They are a detail, but details interest me.

"Yours as ever, Clotilde."

"Your mother must not know of my existence. If questioned swear you never heard of me."

For years Mrs. Heasant had searched Bertie's correspondence diligently for traces of possible dissipation or youthful entanglements, and at last the suspicions that had stimulated her inquisitorial zeal were justified by this one splendid haul. That any one wearing the exotic name "Clotilde" should write to Bertie under the incriminating announcement "as ever" was sufficiently electrifying, without the astounding allusion to the jewels. Mrs. Heasant could recall novels and dramas wherein jewels played an exciting and commanding role, and here, under her own roof, before her very eyes as it were, her own son was carrying on an intrigue in which jewels were merely an interesting detail. Bertie was not due home for another hour, but his sisters were available for the immediate unburdening of a scandal-laden mind.

"Bertie is in the toils of an adventuress," she screamed; "her name is Clotilde," she added, as if she thought they had better know the worst at once. There are occasions when more harm than good is done by shielding young girls from a knowledge of the more deplorable realities of life.

By the time Bertie arrived his mother had discussed every possible and improbable conjecture as to his guilty secret; the girls limited themselves to the opinion that their brother had been weak rather than wicked.

"Who is Clotilde?" was the question that confronted Bertie almost before he had got into the hall. His denial of any knowledge of such a person was met with an outburst of bitter laughter.

"How well you have learned your lesson!" exclaimed Mrs. Heasant. But satire gave way to furious indignation when she realised that Bertie did not intend to throw any further light on her discovery.

"You shan't have any dinner till you've confessed everything," she stormed.

Bertie's reply took the form of hastily collecting material for an impromptu banquet from the larder and locking himself into his bedroom. His mother made frequent visits to the locked door and shouted a succession of interrogations with the persistence of one who thinks that if you ask a question often enough an answer will eventually result. Bertie did nothing to encourage the supposition. An hour had passed in fruitless one-sided palaver when another letter addressed to Bertie and marked "private" made its appearance in the letter-box. Mrs. Heasant pounced on it with the enthusiasm of a cat that has missed its mouse and to whom a second has been unexpectedly vouchsafed. If she hoped for further disclosures assuredly she was not disappointed.

"So you have really done it!" the letter abruptly commenced; "Poor Dagmar. Now she is done for I almost pity her. You did it very well, you wicked boy, the servants all think it was suicide, and there will be no fuss. Better not touch the jewels till after the inquest.

"Clotilde."

Anything that Mrs. Heasant had previously done in the way of outcry was easily surpassed as she raced upstairs and beat frantically at her son's door.

"Miserable boy, what have you done to Dagmar?"

"It's Dagmar now, is it?" he snapped; "it will be Geraldine next."

"That it should come to this, after all my efforts to keep you at home of an evening," sobbed Mrs. Heasant; "it's no use you trying to hide things from me; Clotilde's letter betrays everything."

"Does it betray who she is?" asked Bertie; "I've heard so much about her, I should like to know something about her home-life. Seriously, if you go on like this I shall fetch a doctor; I've often enough been preached at about nothing, but I've never had an imaginary harem dragged into the discussion."

"Are these letters imaginary?" screamed Mrs. Heasant; "what about the jewels, and Dagmar, and the theory of suicide?"

No solution of these problems was forthcoming through the bedroom door, but the last post of the evening produced another letter for Bertie, and its contents brought Mrs. Heasant that enlightenment which had already dawned on her son.

"Dear Bertie," it ran; "I hope I haven't distracted your brain with the spoof letters I've been sending in the name of a fictitious Clotilde. You told me the other day that the servants, or somebody at your home, tampered with your letters, so I thought I would give any one that opened them something exciting to read. The shock might do them good.

"Yours,
"Clovis Sangrail."

Mrs. Heasant knew Clovis slightly, and was rather afraid of him. It was not difficult to read between the lines of his successful hoax. In a chastened mood she rapped once more at Bertie's door.

"A letter from Mr. Sangrail. It's all been a stupid hoax. He wrote those other letters. Why, where are you going?"

Bertie had opened the door; he had on his hat and overcoat.

"I'm going for a doctor to come and see if anything's the matter with you. Of course it was all a hoax, but no person in his right mind could have believed all that rubbish about murder and suicide and jewels. You've been making enough noise to bring the house down for the last hour or two."

"But what was I to think of those letters?" whimpered Mrs. Heasant.

"I should have known what to think of them," said Bertie; "if you choose to excite yourself over other people's correspondence it's your own fault. Anyhow, I'm going for a doctor."

It was Bertie's great opportunity, and he knew it. His mother was conscious of the fact that she would look rather ridiculous if the story got about. She was willing to pay hush-money.

"I'll never open your letters again," she promised. And Clovis has no more devoted slave than Bertie Heasant.

-THE END-
[H.H. Munro] Saki's short story: Shock Tactics

The best caller ever (The Atheist Experience)

2009-05-16T17:26:33Z

Just a short clip from the Atheist Experience - a public access TV show based out of Texas and designed for a Christian audience. Basically, people call in with evidence that there is a God, or in order to discuss or debate a religiously based topic. I don't know if any of you are fans, but it is broadcast on Youtube.com regularly.

If you want a more serious debate, look for the episode(s) covering Logical Absolutes. But a lot of the time, it's all good fun - such as is the circumstance with this caller.

The Three Muskateers

2009-05-16T04:47:14Z

Holy crap, guys. The Three Muskateers is quite probably the best book ever written. I started it on Wednesday night, and finished it just now. It may be 700+ pages, but it is an incredibly captivating read, and I found that I simply could not put it down. Well, except during class. And that was a near thing itself!!

Alexander Dumas is an incredible writer. The Three Muskateers is an absolute triumph of literature, and I do firmly believe not only in its quality, but in its accessibility to any audience. The only serious impediment is the length of the novel - although it is not as lengthy as the 1500+ pages of the Count of Monte Christo (another probable Best Book Ever), it is fast paced, intriguing, and does not linger on unnecessary description. Thus, its length serves only to increase the pleasure of its devoted company.

If I could even write a fifth as well as Alexander Dumas, I would consider myself a master. I do not hesitate to recommend this book to anyone and everyone.

Damn you, livejournal

2009-05-15T00:46:35Z

Just deleted a stupid entry it took me forever to type up... Goddamn. I'll summarize:

I am taking two summer classes in Biology; the university is much nicer when quiet and unpopulated. There are pelicans in the South Saskatchewan River; this is strange, as I am used to seeng them farther north. I guess they're on their way to Lavallée?

I finally read the Tao of Pooh after having it recommended to me by three people. I really did enjoy it, and would recommend it in turn. I would also recommend Benjamin Hoff's essay on his struggles with the publishing industry. For all you Calvin and Hobbes fans, it puts one in the mind of Bill Watterson's struggles with creative control in the publishing of newspaper comic strips. It's sad to see such talented - not to mention successful - people have such problems with creative pursuits.

I've been buying a lot of books lately... I think I mentioned a while ago that I'm aiming for ten books a month? So far I'm averaging nine so far, and I've done seven this month. I probably have enough unread books to last me three months at this rate. Hooray for cheap books at church garage sales.

Okay, I swear my original post was much more interesting than this, not to mention concise, and actually having a point.

I'm going to try to read some more religious literature this summer. The Mahābhārata is supposed to be well worth a read, so I'll start with that. It is also supposed to be very, very long.

In other news, I recently read the first book of Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey-Maturin series, Master and Commander. I wasn't expecting to enjoy it at all. However, it was awesome. I am definately interested in the Napoleonic Era, and also large ships and funny uniforms, so that was all good from the start. However, O'Brian's stye of writing - very detailed; cautiously and accurately researched - was captivating, and the characters were not in the slightest what I expected; very intriguing. And now there is another series I have yet to finish reading. I am spending oodles of money at McNally Robinson lately.

That's about it. I'll write a real journal entry later.

P.S. We have pelicans and geese on our open, thawed rivers, and yet it's snowing on May 14th? What's up with this, Saskatchewan?

Currently reading: Alexander Dumas' The Three Muskateers, Niccolo Macchiavelli's The Prince, Timothy Findley's Not Wanted on the Voyage.
Should be reading: My biology textbook.
Have read: Jen's Goodreads account

Sarah!! There is a conspiracy at your bookstore!!

2009-05-06T04:02:03Z

A recently purchased copy of Kafka's Metamorphosis and Other Stories has been hidiously vandalized!! Upon innocently purchasing a copy of this item, I found something extra attached:

Side One:

CICADA

Sick of his own face,
sick of his skin, of the dark,
he crawls outside himself
to sing -

a better poet than most.

Hosho McCreesh

And Side Two:

This poem may be the last best hope for real literary art. It is the cave wall where we record our passing. All pretense is stripped away; art is being made because it must be made, not out of any hope for financial gain, but to further the human conditon, to genuinely communicate with other living people and to help all of us "laugh up to the end and through it."

Register this broadside online and join us at the Guerilla Poetics Project.

www.guerillapoetics.org

Printed letterpress on an antique press at an undisclosed location by the GPP and smuggles into this book by one of our Special Operatives.

...

Right. So, my question is this: How often does this happen? Do people even tell you guys about it? Is there a policy on what to do to distributed GPP material? Or am I just so lucky that I get one of the only ones available?

Breaking the fast

2009-04-30T22:45:58Z

So, finals are over. Time to start posting again, right?

I've been spending a lot of time writing cheap garbagey fiction instead of my essays lately, not to mention wasting time on the internet... My internet use actually increases around exam time due to the need to procrastinate. Anyways, combining the two, I found something rather neat and possibly helpful:

The Original Fiction Mary Sue Litmas Test!!

My scores, ranting, etc:

Your Mary Sue Score: 17

0-10 points: The Anti-Sue. Your character is the very antithesis of a Mary-Sue. Why are you even taking this test?

11-20 points: The Non-Sue. Your character is a well-developed, balanced person, and is almost certainly not a Mary Sue. Congratulations!

21-35 points: Borderline-Sue. Your character is cutting it close, and you may want to work on the details a bit, but you're well on your way to having a lovely original character. Good work.

36-55 points: Mary-Sue. Your character needs some work in order to be believable. But despair not; you should still be able to salvage her with a little effort. Don't give up.

56-70 points: Über-Sue. You've got one hell of a Mary-Sue on your hands here, and it's not going to be easy to set things right. But do your best. There may be hope for you yet.

71 points or more: Irredeemable-Sue. You're going to have to start over, my friend. I know you want to keep writing, but no. Just no.

Again, keep in mind that the test isn't always correct. Morpheus from the Sandman Comics scored nearly 70 points, and yet we don't believe he's a Mary-Sue. He's well developed, suffers the consequences of several major personality flaws, and has very few powers or talents besides those necessary to perform the duties of his station. Of course, research, an interesting story, and good writing always help too. ;)

Some of the results I got were quite suprising; others were not. Some of theme I can understand why, some not. I was suprised at Adele's score - I was expecting it to be high, but not that high. My guess is that the score was influenced by the super-amazing-magical-powers section, in which there was no option for 'limited at best' in the abilities section. Because Adele's superpower is actually the scientific method. The biggest problem influencing each of these character's scores (I'm guessing) was the part where owning a magical-related object counted as a magic power... which made things difficult, because four of these characters live together and therefore share property to some extent.

That being said, I'm not suprised in the slightest that Adele and Law got the highest Mary Sue scores; they're just the type. I was suprised by Hadrian, Cedrin, and Mordecai's scores, but I'm tempted to write it off due to the implications of shared property to the super-amazing-magical-powers section. And also, Jaimie and Charlie, both of whose characters are totally based off of things I/someone I know have said or done in the past didn't rate very high at all. Not sure how to react to that. Not everything with a basis in personal experience is a Mary Sue?

Adele – 47
Lydia – 19
Owen – 11
Law – 25
Mordecai – 17
Hadrian – 22
Cedrin – 20
Jaimie – 17
Charlie - 13

What makes a Mary Sue, anyways? Is this really a useful indicator for off-base characterizations? How applicable is this to writing original fiction if (as I'm guessing) it was originally used in a fandom-based setting?

FYI, after completing this, I really want to have someone die in the arms of their beloved / sacrifice themselves so that their loved one can be happy. It's too bad all of my Madness characters are too self-absorbed to do this. And Book of Worms doesn't have a hint of tragic romance. Perhaps I should have a squid eat something, instead. Because yes, that is the equivilant of melodrama in Book of Worms.

On my sociology of religion class...

2009-04-01T16:01:39Z

Okay, so maybe I can't stand working on the essays for this class. It's damn hard to stay focused, what with the amount of ridiculous bullshit being pedled about. And maybe I knew the prof was crazy going into this. Maybe I should have known better, and dropped the class, and taken something different - and more useful.

But I just can't help feeling massive amounts of rage towards this class. I honestly believe the course materials are poorly chosen and just barely applicable to a sociological world-view. Two books in particular - Berger's The Sacred Canopy and Scheler's Ressentiment - strike me as simply going beyond symbollic interactionism and into Making Shit Up. I can appreciate the influence that Nietschie has had on modern thought, but he is not an adequate resource for a sociological text. The fact that I was forced into re-reading Thus Spake Zarathushtra should indicate that this is not appropriate as an introductory text. The concept of ressentiment is certainly interesting, but it is hard to argue it's applicability to Real Life. It is simply conjecture, unproven theory, and inappropriate as a major text in a sociological course.

As for Berger - well, I've talked about him enough here, haven't I? In order to understand his meandering sentences and nonsensical language, I re-read my entire collection of symbollic interactionist thought. It helped, a bit, but Berger's main problem is that he constantly refers to other works in order to justify his use of a term or idea. He doesn't explain why this other term or idea would be appropriate - he simply lists a reference. Having been familiar with a number of the sources he cites, I do not understand his reasoning in this. Honestly, I suspect that he is simply to lazy to explain his somewhat... unique co-opting of these terms, and is assuming that his readers will be too lazy to bother researching his citations. Once again, he does not explain his reason for using these terms, and instead assumes it is too obvious to bother with.

The other two texts for this class are more simple - Weber's work on Protestants and capitalism, which I'd already read (pretty standard Soc text), and Simmel's the Sociology of Religion. I can see why the latter is out of print, but there you go.

The point of this post is, I've supposed to complete a ten page essay about all of these four texts. I have no clue how some of this stuff is even related. I will heartily argue that Berger and Scheler's books should never, ever be included in any sociological course, on account of being tied to sociology by only the barest threads.

I'm really struggling with this, and the essay is due on the 24th. In the middle of exams, and I have a Lit essay due on the 29th... In the middle of exams.

I have no idea where to start, and I'm probably going to end up doing something absolutely absurd. Organized ressentiment as staving off the chaos and therefore protected the nomos from anomie? Methods of staving off chaos (Berger) taken from Scheler (ressentiment), Weber (protestant work ethic?) and Simmel (I'll likely find something).

Kind of panicking about this one. I'll endeavor to due better, but am paralyzed with fear that I may have to read Berger's work a second time.